Malaky Helwan??

Where's the JW Mariott?

it's in Helwan, near the new campus of the American University in Helwan! (AUH)

Interviews

"You can work as a physician, a pharmacist, an engineer and paid trivial money or; work for our sales department - selling insurance - and get paid a basic of 2000 EGP plus a hefty bonus for each and every business you bring"

Mmm.. A salesman, I'd rather be a janitor ..

"Your Basic salary will be 1500 EGP, it may increase according to your performance to 1700 EGP in the first 6 months, by next year I promise you a senior position with a net salary of 2000 EGP, you will be often asked to work on weekends and even stay up to 8 and 9 pm to finish whatever project you are handling

Oh, I almost forget, your contract will have a 15,000 EGP penalty if you left us in the first 2 years"

Your promise is as good as your "special" offer, and don't get me started on the contract penalty.. Little man stuck in little business.

"Definitely, Definitely it's a sales Job, I know the add said "health advisor", but you'll be advising customers about our exquisite health insurance package"

Wtf?

"Sorry, but you lack leadership skills"

And you discovered that from our 30 minute interview? You must be psychic .. Or better, you see the matrix !

"We went for someone with more experience" – an email sent to me 8 months after conducting the final interview.

It's a pointless email, if they don't call within 2 months from the final interview, chances are you are not selected. I emailed them back with a piece of my mind.

"Your qualifications are not best suited for the position"

You should have written what kind of qualifications you need in the job post instead of wasting both your time and mine

"Ideally, we are looking for a female who lives in heliopolis .."

So what The hell am I doing here?

P.s: HR specialists, you are so full of it, and you know it

Top 5: Smart Comedians

5- Maz Jobrani

4- Billy Crystal

3- Jerry Seinfield

2- John Stewart

1- George Carlin

On Tipping

My definition of a tip: a courteous financial jester towards a service well provided, or to encourage service providers to stick with a positive attitude towards service receivers.

In Egypt, it’s a right and the consequences of not tipping/not tipping enough vary between frowns and verbal abuses. That’s why the best tippers are foreigners; they want to avoid being embarrassed or worse; being abused.

I mean do you tip according to the size of the bill or according to the quality of service provided? Do you tip because you have to and as not to come off as a “cheap”? Do you tip because you are programmed to; conditioned since your early childhood years or out of conviction? The actions of tipping and how much to tip are two tangled issues that comprise a state of discomfort and confusion.

Dwight Shrute from the hit show (The Office) refused to tip a delivery man for the following witty logic:

“Why tip someone for a job I am capable of doing myself? I can deliver food, I can drive a taxi, I can – and do – cut my own hair, I did however tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my kidney stones”.

As funny as that statement sounds; he does have a point .. That’s why I tip according to the quality of service and often out of pity to the less fortunate and underprivileged labors.

I really despise the fact that people expect a big fat tip for a job they are supposed to do. Moreover, In their twisted minds they think they have earned this charitable jester. You don’t earn a tip, you earn a raise, a promotion .. Not a tip. A tip is totally up to the tipper and it’s absolutely a judgment call.

N.B: a Tip disguised as charity is not a tip .

الحكومه حطه ايديها علي خدها يا سعاد - عادل امام في فيلم كاراكون في الشارع

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http://www.almasry-alyoum.com/article.aspx?ArticleID=100693

بقلم مجدي الجلاد

المصري اليوم

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..حكومة سجلت حالة قياسية لم تسجلها حكومة من قبل: أزمات خانقة في السولار.. كارثة في سماد الفلاحين.. نقص حاد في مياه الشرب في معظم المحافظات.. ارتفاعات قياسية في أسعار السلع الغذائية مع غياب تام للأجهزة الحكومية.. سيطرة «مافيا» منظمة ومتشابكة علي أسواق الحديد والأسمنت.. ثم أزمة «طوابير الخبز» التي لم تواجهها مصر من قبل

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حكومة اشتراكية ترفع شعار «الاقتصاد الحر».. وزراء يتحدثون ليل نهار عن تحرير الاقتصاد والخصخصة وفتح الأسواق، بينما يصدرون قرارات ويتبنون سياسات المنع والإغلاق وتوزيع السلع التموينية بالبطاقات، وزيادة الدعم العيني

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. وستجد أن الحكومة في واقع الأمر ليست حكومة واحدة.. ستجدها حكومتين في قضية الدعم.. واحدة تحارب من أجل بقائه.. وأخري تقاتل لرفعه نهائياً.. وستجدها ثلاث حكومات في التوجه الاقتصادي العام

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واحدة متحررة تعمل بنظرية «بيع يا لطفي».. والثانية «اشتراكية» تدافع عن الاقتصاد الموجه.. والثالثة تعمل بعقلية «الموظف».. وستجد أن لكل حكومة من الثلاث حزباً داخل الحزب الوطني والدولة.. لا تجانس ولا تناغم.. وفي بعض الحالات «خلافات وصراعات وضرب من تحت الحزام

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.. حكومة عاجزة عن حل مشاكل تجاوزتها دول كثيرة.. وعاجزة ـ وهذه هي الأزمة ـ عن إقرار قوانين وتوجهات صنعتها بيدها.. والأمثلة كثيرة.. منها قانون التأمين الصحي الذي دخل الثلاجة، وقانون الضريبة العقارية الذي يواجه صراعاً داخل الحكومة والحزب الوطني.. وقانون تداول المعلومات الذي استقر في خزائن النسيان!

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.. حكومة لا تعرف الشارع.. حكومة ليس لها في السياسة.. وألف باء السياسة هو التعامل الواعي مع الرأي العام.. لذا كان طبيعياً أن تخلق لك أزمات متتالية مع المواطنين، وتضطر ـ وأنت الرئيس ـ إلي التدخل المباشر في كل أزمة، ففي أزمة «الخبز» مثلاً، لم تتحرك الحكومة، وضربت «لخمة» حتي تدخلت شخصياً، وكلفت جهاز الخدمة الوطنية ووزارة الداخلية بمواجهة المشكلة.. فهل يستوي ذلك مع دولة بها حكومة، وحزب يخطط للحكومة؟ .

Back at Square One

I'm quitting my job very soon, and I'm taking some time off to reflect on things on my mind.

I liked to believe that I can do whatever I want if I put my mind into it, my substantial determination and my resilience broke under the sheer reality of how things work.

I'm astonished by the my shortcomings, I thought they were small but on the contrary, they are disastrous, and I'm too old and messed up to even try to work them out.

I'm starting to question what I really want; sometimes I'm not cut for what I really want, other times I want the right things for the wrong reasons or at the worst timings. I want to fly but my wings have been so denied.

I knew long time ago that nothing makes sense, although this dangerous conclusion can drive a man to disbelief or approaching-atheism, I'm not trying to figure life out, I'm simply trying to adjust to its anarchy.

Friends around me seem to "carry on" with their lives without even pausing to ask themselves what the hell they are doing, automated to mainstream of typical ideologies and choosing to exist as zombies, But they seem reflect an image of happiness and content. Should I try to change my attitude to "happy and misleaded" instead of "dissatisfied and enlightened"?

I'm back at square one and I'm narcoleptic.

Discouraged but hopeful.

Sane yet Overwhelmed.

Another misconception established; This is Mo'men .. Over and Out.







P.S: I'm now listening to Norah Jones first album on my PC; this may or may not affect and contribute to the content of what I'm writing.

Whatever Happened To ... ?

Netscape?

Boyzone?

Canada Dry?

Lego?

Captin Maged?

Sonic The hedgehock?

Attari?

ICQ?

Atef Epeid?

The bassist from "Nirvana"?

Fawazeer Ramadan?

Nelly from Fawazeer Ramadan?

Loch Ness Monster?

Makarena Song/Culture/dance ?

Sandra "80's pop singer/icon"?

Black jeans?

Beavus & Butthead?

Adham Sabry - Ragol al mostaheel?

Sonia Graham - Adham Sabry's nemesis and later his wife????????

Marakia?

Bo'loz - Mama nagwa's puppet?

Cabretage in Helwan?

Kindness?

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I was me but now .. he's gone

The other day, my neighbour across the street was talking to me about the parking space situation outside our buildings, he's about 50+ years old and he was vomiting value this and logic that allover me ..

The old me would have talked back and debated the concept "whatever that is", the new me just humored him and gave em the fake respect and attention he thinks he deserves.

I don't like the new me, but he will out live the old me and surely his quality of life has improved by increasing his stress-free moments.

Am I border-line schizophrenic? Or am I undergoing a profound mental metamorphosis?

The new me doesn't give a rat's ass about it !

The Great Simpsons of Me :)

Get your own Simpsons Character at www.simpsonizeme.com/

Top 5: Ridiculous things brought to us by Uncle Sam

5- Baseball

4- Rap & Hip Hop Music

3- George W. Bush

2- Scientology

1- Imperial system of measurements

Top 5: Perks of being a guy (living in Egypt)

5- I can smoke shisha or cigarette without any social constrains.
It's socially unacceptable for a girl or a woman, married or single, with company or alone to do this infamous, disgusting, and wicked act of... Smoking!

4- Getting to choose who to marry.
From a procedural perceptive, I get to propose and not proposed to, the ball is in MY COURT, regardless of the outcome- being accepted or rejected- the initiative is still mine.

3- Walking down the street at 4:00 am in the morning.
Versus being a girl; who must be a slut for being on the streets at 4 am on her own like that, shame on her!!

2- Living in a misleaded society; where a man is considered by far superior than women.
It's like a gift with a twist. It's like you are twice the girl next to you (example: you inherit double the money but you also get double reasonability).

1- The ability to pee standing up, and consequently anywhere I want.
The world is my toilet.

N.B: This post was inspired after reading This.

Top 5: Prison Movies

I’m a sucker for movies where the characters are exposed to soul-wrecking experiences; as in war or prison movies.

5- The Green Mile
A beautiful movie that emphasizes the relationship developed between the cons and the guards.

4- Mean machine
A Hilarious British adaptation of the american movie “The Longest Yard”. UK actors Rule, Big time.

3- Animal Factory
The closest movie to represent what it’s like in US prisons; or so I was informed from the DVD commentary. Defoe stars as his fellow -brilliant Buscemi- directs.

2- Escape from Alcatraz
Classic Clint Eastwood movie!

1-The Shawashank Redemption
Best Movie as voted at IMDB.com, the book is not bad either :)

Top 5: Grunge Albums

I grew up in the 90s and I witnessed the outbreak of the grunge phenomenon “a subgenre of alternative rock music”; arguably the grunge is now dead and buried but you can still feel its influence in modern rock music. Here are my favorite albums from this memorable era:

5- Mad season - Above

4- Nirvana – Never Mind

3- Alice in Chains - Dirt

2- Pearl Jam - Ten

1- Soundgarden – Superunknown
One of the best rock albums of all times

Untitled

Some one dear to me inclined that I’m hypocrite ..

In one way or the other, Aint we all?

Some one has accused me of being cheap

I’m not a man who spends for social acceptance or to prove that I’m generous

Someone thinks that I’m proud

I am …


“I won’t apologize for what I want, I won’t apologize for what I need, I won’t apologize for what I am” – Tom Cruise; as Frank T.J. Mackey in the movie Magnolia (1999)

Run Scofield, Run

The Land of the Pyramids and Mega malls

The "I'm so cool with the way I talk" anchor asked a young lady whether she concurs with Mostafa Kamel's famous quote, "If I weren't an Egyptian, I'd have loved to be an Egyptian". Regardless of the fake display of patriotism from all of the respondents, this particular lady dazzled me with this:

"I think Egypt is great, I don't think I have anything negative to say about it, it even has the best mega malls that competes with the ones in the foreign countries, I think the ones we have are even bigger and better"

The link between wanting to be an Egyptian at any cost and Egyptian mega malls is a perplexity waiting to be analyzed.

I'm too drained to even start to analyze this crap, I just felt on posting a sample of:

1- Egyptians production of silly TV programs.
2- Egyptians apparent talent of expressing themselves, especially in front of a camera lens.
3- Egyptians irrelevant responses and their tendency to speak out than shut up.
4- Egyptian fascination with City Stars "The King of Mega Malls"

Out of like 15 participants, two responded that they would rather "be" another nationality. The inevitable question of "what nationality and why" followed and I kept waiting to hear –with much anticipation I may add- for keywords like Production; Efficiency; Keen on development and learning; Research; Analytical thinking, and Objectivity, Sadly my anticipation was in vain. A respondent vaguely mentioned discipline but inside a context of how foreigners abide by traffic laws.

I'm glad to be an Egyptian; At least I can shop at Spinneys and eat Mac-Tasty in the food court.

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Thierry Who?

Speechless
Out of This World
A New Sport/Art is Born

Small things, Part 4

• The smell of new garments
• Autumns in Egypt
• Receiving a genuine "Thank you" after serving people
• A nice dream that you remember the morning after
• Big yellow school buses filled with 5 years old
• The battle of a cat and a string
• Moonwalking by Michael Jackson
• The "New Taxes Law" commercials
• The roar in the streets when Al-Ahly scores
• The green mint candy they serve with the bill at Lacasetta
• The musical score from Tom and Jerry's cartoon episodes
• The 5 minutes sleep between the alarm ring and the snooze ring
• The opening credits from "The Simpsons"
• Reading something meaningful
• The Mexican wave at the Cairo stadium
• Riding Jet Skis
• Edgar Alan Poe poems
• Sand grains stuck between the toes after coming from the beach

Top 5: Material things that are essential for my routine settings and daily functions

5- Calmepam® "Anxiolytic intermediate acting-Benzodiazepine"
Actually, I don't use it that much, but sometimes it's the only thing that gets me to sleep.

4- Nescafe/Tea/Coffee or any caffeine-containing beverage
I'm an addict, just like the most.

3- Flavored Shisha
When I blow smoke circles from a grape-flavored one, I'm in Zen with the universe.

2- My iPod
A convenient Mp3 player that plays the soundtrack of my life.

1- My Car
It's Korean, but it gets me form point A to B and the maintenance is affordable.