Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I was "happy" beating Shao khan

"It's the price you pay for the life you choose"
I read this off a facebook profile of a dear friend of mine, it's not the cliché quote that grabbed my attention but rather my current status with this particular "friend".

Yes we grew apart due to life's spinning carousel, (N) indeed is one of a kind, she's very bright, successful, very cheerful and super social and she's ecstatic even if it's only Labor Day. But deep down inside she's depressed, I'm not surprised that anyone is depressed these days because it seems to be the standard/default setup of an individual's psyche, but someone who sees life as a big pink flower swaying on a rainbow with cinnamon scents allover the place *mental picture*, I can't figure out why? Again, I'm not occupied by the whys and hows but if someone like (N) is depressed/unsatisfied/unhappy, what does that make me? Suicidal??

Now back to the quote, I can relate how (N) aced in many fields and failed in others "ex: emotionally", in general people fail as much as they succeed, but (N) chose a path and that "this" path lead to consequences that some of them had to stomach. (N) is like me, she over thinks things which ultimately guides your brain towards depression and borderline psychosis. All these analysis made me rethink my status since (N) and I have a lot in common. Am I happy?

Happy... mmm... I think I was happy when I was a kid, that's the last time I recall I was genuinely happy, it's the most precious feeling in the world, Am I happy? …Mmm... eh... no, I'm not... well, it's best put in the following phrase:

"Sometimes I'm unhappy because I'm dissatisfied, other times I'm dissatisfied because I'm unhappy"

Does that make any sense? I read once that dissatisfaction is what makes someone a success, and happiness is a euphoric neurotransmitter that hinders the mind from rationalization. I wish I was back being a kid again when all the worries in the world were unified in beating Shao khan in Mortal Combat in SuperNentendo.


Anonymous said...

It makes perfect sense! As kids, we were care-free...no job or relationships to worry about, and no consequences of actions to over-think.
Concerning (N), whom I've had the pleasure of knowing for some time now, I think her depression is a direct result of her 'flowery' vision of life. I'm not into the whys and hows of her problem, but she's a beautiful personality who seems to have had a hard blow to her view of life, and she's just trying to adjust to a brand new 'perspective' of it. I wish her the best of luck with that.
I think we are all going through this phase of life, when we find out that life isn't as easy as it seemed when we were kids, and it certainly isn't a Hollywood movie plot...which is frankly quite depressing. Believing that everything happens for the best isn't as easy as it was a few years back...

Mo'men said...

You have a point, but I think we are in an age and a level of mental maturity that dictates us to be more secure and less clueless about who we are and what we want, I’m trying to track down the roots of this consequence “being dissatisfied or unhappy” but I can’t figure it out.

(N) is a beautiful personality indeed and she deserves the best life can offer.