Random Events

I don't know what to make out of these situations , but it kinda lingered with me for a while


*****


Nada: I have an interview at ( ), a respectable private sector company, what are your thoughts on that manner?
Boss: I can’t tell you NOT to take the interview, this would be a good experience for you, but don’t accept any offers before you consult me , and I won’t let you go that easily ..
Me: Boss, what do you think? Now is the time to apply for other jobs, what shall I do ?
Boss: Apply son, God Bless you


*****


Inside the exam hall
Me: Excuse me, We are in an ongoing exam, can you please lower your voice and stop giggling
Anonymous: What your problem, Pal?
Me: My problem is that you think that you are in your living room , and I’m not your pal


*****


Driving in the steet:
Me: Ya basha , this is a One way, One lane street and you’re blocking it
Asshole driving on the opposite side: So?


*****


Dr. Mostafa: Where are you Mo’men? I’ve been trying to reach you for quiet some time now
Me: Sorry Doctor, I have exams these days and I’m pre-occupied
Dr. Mostafa: *To2*


*****


Outside my Home:
حمدوون : صباح الخير يا دكتورنا يا عسل
مؤمن: صباح الخير يا حمدوون
حمدوون: و النبي يا دكتور ملاقتليش الدوا المقوي ده ..
مؤمن: دوا ايه يا حمدوون , منا لسه مدييك فيتامينات
حمدوون: اصل الواحد بقي علطول همدان و مبقاش علي المستوي المطلوب ..
مؤمن: و ايه هوا بقي المستوي المطلوب؟
حمدوون: الاداء المشرف صباحا و مساءا
مؤمن: !!!! ... حاضر يا حمدوون , ربنا يسهل

حمدوون عنده 47 سنه و بيشتغل من 9 الصبح ل9 بليل , و عنده 3 عيال (الي شفتهم)


****


Outside an Oral Exam room:
(We were 4 men , 23 women)
Colleague: I need to go first, my husband is waiting for me downstairs
Me: I’ve been standing here for half an hour , and I have other engagements too
Colleague: but I’m a married woman
Me: …..
Colleague: the entry order should be , married women with kids , married women without kids , engaged women , single women then YOU “as in males”
Me: rabena yesahel = “in your dreams where you can make up your own rules, pitty bag”


****


In a Café:
Me: Why can’t you commit yourself to anything the way you commit yourself to gym and weight lifting?
Friend: cuz I want to look good naked


****


Driving down the steet:
Haytham: Man, I wish this freakin country pay more money to fix theses god damn streets.
Me: I don’t need the government to pay for paved streets, fancy projects in the north coast or football events hosting, I want my country paying more to improve health services and education, if we still have hope for a better tomorrow…


****


Watching a movie on MBC 2 with my mother:
Mum: what does the word “cleavage” mean?
Me: huh?
Mum: I didn’t catch it in the subtitles , but I heard it right , what does it mean?
Me: The movie is 2 hours long with lots of conversation and you pick “Cleavage” to ask me about it’s meaning??!!

N.B: My Mother knows all the English bad language form the movies , now she’s learning more “anatomical” expressions