Back at Square One

I'm quitting my job very soon, and I'm taking some time off to reflect on things on my mind.

I liked to believe that I can do whatever I want if I put my mind into it, my substantial determination and my resilience broke under the sheer reality of how things work.

I'm astonished by the my shortcomings, I thought they were small but on the contrary, they are disastrous, and I'm too old and messed up to even try to work them out.

I'm starting to question what I really want; sometimes I'm not cut for what I really want, other times I want the right things for the wrong reasons or at the worst timings. I want to fly but my wings have been so denied.

I knew long time ago that nothing makes sense, although this dangerous conclusion can drive a man to disbelief or approaching-atheism, I'm not trying to figure life out, I'm simply trying to adjust to its anarchy.

Friends around me seem to "carry on" with their lives without even pausing to ask themselves what the hell they are doing, automated to mainstream of typical ideologies and choosing to exist as zombies, But they seem reflect an image of happiness and content. Should I try to change my attitude to "happy and misleaded" instead of "dissatisfied and enlightened"?

I'm back at square one and I'm narcoleptic.

Discouraged but hopeful.

Sane yet Overwhelmed.

Another misconception established; This is Mo'men .. Over and Out.







P.S: I'm now listening to Norah Jones first album on my PC; this may or may not affect and contribute to the content of what I'm writing.